We all go through seasons in our life. Some seasons can be painful; however, they can help us grow. They offer us an opportunity to learn something new and different about ourselves. That is–if we are open and receptive to the process.  We have to be willing to
confront and embrace our fears.  We must be ready to experience and, literally, sit with the pain.

As we all know, a toxic break up of any kind can be devastating, leaving us questioning  our self-worth–our value. In the back of our minds, we wonder if we are ‘enough’.  I went through a traumatic breakup years ago that catapulted me into a season of self-doubt and despair when I realized  I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I felt trapped, that I had no way out–that I was stuck and all alone. When I gathered the courage to tell a friend about the situation, she couldn’t believe that I would allow someone to mistreat me because she and most everyone else saw me as a strong person.  I was strong then. I am strong now, but I was also scared, so scared that I convinced myself that I could not survive without this abusive person. I allowed him to control me. In retrospect, I gave him so much power—power that he did not deserve.  It was an awful and terrifying experience.

To dig myself out, I turned to my God.  He took my situation and used it for my good.  He protected me and he gave me the courage and the strength to leave the relationship. It was traumatic.   I was fearful. I was afraid—and I cried constantly. I prayed for his guidance so  I could move forward.  It was a very difficult season for me. But you know what–I came through it. I survived. What was initially devastating slowly became a season of self discovery and growth. I’m even stronger! I am even more successful! Above all, after all of these years, I’m finally comfortable enough to share my story in hopes that it can help you or someone you know.   

I don’t know the type of season you’re experiencing or where you find your spiritual support. But if you are going through a challenging season (whatever it is), you should know you are not alone, you are not abandoned by those who love you, and you cannot give up. Out of your struggle you will discover wonderful possibilities!

It may be hard to stop the tears. Cry if you need to, but don’t be discouraged or get frustrated.  Get up—go to your safe space, seek spiritual and emotional support in a way that works for you (e.g. pastor, counselor, life coach, friend, etc) and be brave enough to talk about it. Don’t allow shame to hold you hostage and cause you question your self-worth. Know that you really are ‘enough’ and that you deserve the best. There are resources in yourself and around you that you can call on to help you break through your situation and rebuild to move forward.  You will prevail, if you refuse to give up. Don’t be afraid to face your season head-on. Trust me–the lessons you learn can be stepping stones to an amazing future. And one day, you will look back on this painful season, recognize your growth, see your success, and notice the sun is shining again!

Thanks for reading my blog. Please enter your email address  (on the left-hand side of this page) to stay connected.  You can also email me at aspiringblackwoman@gmail.com.